Category Archives: Religion

Religious Nutjob Of The Week : Lost At Sea

lost at sea

An Arizona family of fundamentalist christians including two young children, one only months old, have spent 91 days lost as sea, after deciding to leave the ungodly United States and sail to the Kiribati Islands in the middle of the Pacific Ocean to escape as they put it …

“abortion, homosexuality, in the state-controlled church,”

and

“forced to pay these taxes that pay for abortions we don’t agree with.”

Ahh lovely people no?

So did they prepare for their voyage by taking courses in sailing or navigation?  No of course not. Instead they predictably put their faith in God, sure in the knowledge that he would see them safe to their new island paradise home.  God had other ideas. When after a few days sailing they hit “squall after squall after squall, which left their boat battered and damaged and them lost in the wide open ocean for weeks.

My_Heart_Is_Lost_at_Sea_by_Firstborn

Running out of food they must have thought their prayers had finally been answered when a Canadian ship spotted them and came along side to give them supplies.  Alas god must have been otherwise engaged, as the ship banged into their little boat damaging it further.

Finally, with their food supplies running down to just juice and honey a Venezuelan fishing boat picked them up and via a change over to a Japanese cargo ship they were taken back to shore in Chile.  They now plan to return to Arizona.

So what do we learn from this peeps?  How about if you plan on going on a long expedition they make sure you are fully prepared with all the necessary equipment and skills. Not rely on some  imaginary vengeful death-dealing desert god to guide you.  Alternatively if you are wanting to move to an island in the Pacific Ocean….. consider flying.

Or maybe – and I realise there is little to no chance of them doing this – stop following a religion that breeds intolerance, hate and violence to minority groups like LGBTs, or who’s ministers preach  that women should not have the free choice and control of their own bodies, despite the fact that nowhere in that religions instruction manual does it forbid the right to choose.  That way you may just realise that you are very very fortunate to live in the worlds richest nation, where even if you live in abject poverty you still have a better standard of living than much of the developing world. A place where at least nominally, everyone has the same rights and freedoms based upon the constitution.  That is thankfully not yet a theocracy, as some fundies seem to want. Otherwise you could be stoned for picking up sticks on the wrong day or even for having the temerity to get raped amongst others things. Luckily for the the Gastonguay family I don’t think there is any religious law that advocates stoning for those unable to navigate or just for being plain stupid.

 

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Religious Nutjob Of The Week : The Paedophile Puppeteer Preacher

 

Meet Ronald William Brown, a 58-year-old puppeteer that works for a Christian television network warning kids of the dangers of looking at pornography.  How ironic then when this week we find out he has been sentenced to 20 year in prison for possessing child pornography.  Surprised? Not.

Here he is at work with his quite frankly creepy assed ventriloquist dummy, Marty.

The images he collected and traded online were of children being bound gagged and also ones of kids who were apparently dead.  You see this sickos twisted fantasy was of killing dismembering and eating children. In fact he had already selected his victim, it was a young boy from his church group.  He would talk about these sick plans with another online paedo, Micheal Arnett writing things like “I imagine him wiggling and then going still,”

This was a guy, a loner, who had lived with his mother until she died, who spent most of his time with kids. He ran a pizza and church night for teenagers and frequently drove the children about in the church van and spent hours at the local park.  He should have been caught earlier. He had once been investigated by police after a neighbour had reported him for always driving young kids about and another time was caught with boys underwear on the front seat of his car when stopped for a traffic offense. He said they were for dressing his puppet in ^^

Now we don’t have any evidence that he personally ever physically hurt any children but his partner in crime Arnett claimed to have strangled killed and eaten an unknown child during their web discussions and Brown himself said that was what he was going to do with his selected victim. So it is mind-boggling  that his lawyer claims that “At this point, he doesn’t believe he’s done anything,”

Yet another case of paedophiles exploiting their position within either an educational or religious organisation. While his Church’s pastor has responded to media queries stating his shock at these discoveries. It is sad that so far the place where he worked Christian Television Network in Largo has refused to release any comment. In fact on his Facebook page Brown still claims to work there as a control operator. If we want to put a stop to this kind of behaviour then it is going to be up to these organisations to be both more thorough in their vigilance, and quicker to denounce these criminals when convicted. Until then I am afraid that churches and religious community groups are going to remain prime breeding grounds for these nonces.

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Carl Sagan Dismantles Creationism

A simple yet powerful argument that totally destroys the theory of creationism.  Dont waste time talking about the fossil record with these logic denying loons just do as Sagan does in the short clip:

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Religious Nutjob Of The Week : Holy Milk

Hmmm think I may just make this a regular feature on this here blog of mine. I’m sure I will have little or no trouble finding plenty of potential contenders for this most coveted of title in the weeks to come.

So lets see. Who gets to be the lucky star of our very first.. Religious Nutjob Of The Week  (.Imagine this title is always sung  in a Harry Hill TV Burp style kind of announcers jingle ) ….

And the winner this week is……   Valdeci Sobrino Picanto an evangelical pastor from Brazil.

Earlier in the year Valdeci got himself arrested. Unsurprisingly, when it is to do with a man of the cloth, this arrest was to do with sex.  More surprising though is the manner in which he persuaded his victims to participate in these acts.

Valdeci  managed to abuse victims after convincing them that his penis contains HOLY MILK.

This criminal pastor claimed that the Holy Spirit would secrete from his penis in the form of “sacred milk”. This pastor said that his penis was blessed and that “the Lord had consecrated him with divine milk of the Holy Spirit” and, of course, he had to release it in order to “evangelize”.

Can you believe this? This guy actually managed to convince his flock that their god was literally coming out of his cock. Therefore in order to be saved from all those nasty perverted things that happen in hell, they would all have to kneel-down as if in prayer, then suck away on his dick to release this holy spirit and save their immortal souls.

jesus-with-boyIt is hard to understand how his followers could all of fallen for this inventive but quite obviously bullshit kind of excuse, but I suppose that is just another example of the dangerous brainwashing that organised religion instills in millions of people everyday.  However dumb we may think the story is, it is important to remember that these people were victims of serious sexual abuse whose only mistake was putting their full trust in a person claiming to be a man of god but in fact was nothing more than a sexual predator.  In the words of one of his victims….

“He has convinced us that only God could come into our lives through our mouth and that’s why he would do what he did”. Often, after worship, pastor Valdeci would take us to the where the funds were kept at the back of the Church and asked us to have Oral sex with him until the Holy Spirit would come through ejaculation”

Alas I’m not going to be able to give Valdeci the award in person as thankfully this man is now locked up safely behind bars.  But I hope you will all agree that he most certainly does deserve the dubious honour of being the first : Religious Nutjob Of The Week.

Original news article in Spanish

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