“Welcome ladies and gentlemen, to the official DWP 1st annual “piss on the poor” party and karaoke night. Tonight our first song is dedicated to a very special person, Mr Ian Duncan Smith.
Please stand up Mr Smith.
Can we shine a spotlight on him …….. no no it’s not that man, the one behind him with the bald head that looks like a SS concentration camp guard, yes that’s the one. A round of applause for the man who is single-handedly responsible for the funding of tonight’s party. All paid for from savings made due to the massive increase in sanctions handed out to the peasants by this man. Thank you Mr Smith. Sieg Hail Sieg Hail!!
And so on with the festivities. In honour of your achievements we would like to dedicate this song to you Ian, I know it is one of his favourites…..”